I’ve spent years pretending to be tougher than I am
Fortified walls surround me never letting anybody in
Until even I can’t recognize the mess I’m in
I’ve held my true self so deathly near
Afraid of getting close year after year
Ruled by emotions and too much by fear
What if I get too close and lose
It’s easier to drown myself in booze
Then to try and keep up the ruse.
I feel like an island standing alone
While others find their place called home
An empty contact list is all that fills my phone
Too many nights I scream and yell
Needing to hear “it’s okay to be held”
Instead I feel like an empty shell.
I simply want to belong amid this plunder
I need to hear your voice like thunder
Helping me put it all asunder.
Rachael Collins
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