Listen to My Words

 

Listen to my words, please hear what I am saying

Find the deeper meaning etched in my soul.

You may hear me utter, “I’m fine,” but in reality

I’m dying for you to see beyond the words of my plea

And to really hear me

Because there are more to the words I say

And I need you to listen, I mean really listen, beyond

The superficial words formed when I speak.

You may hear me say  go away. Leave me alone

But if you listen, really listen, you’ll hear my meaning --

Please stay. I am afraid. I don’t want to be alone.

Listen to my words, because

I don’t know how to say more than words I love you

But if you listen to my words, then you will hear what I really mean -- 

I need you. I adore you. You are the sum of parts. The being that makes me whole.

Too often, words are used as a weapon to cut each other down

The emotional turmoil, our blood, that seeps into the ground.

But know, that even if I may speak softly, but my words carry a weight

That can only be heard, if you really listen to my words.

But if you are too busy talking, you won’t hear what I’m really trying to say,

So listen to my words, hear what I’m saying, 

Look beyond the words and really hear me.

Rachael Collins

Keep Going

 

To keep trudging on is so much easier said than done

Especially when the day feels over and never won

But it’s the plight of every living soul

To keep going even when we don’t feel whole

For if we gave up when we lost the slightest hope 

Or failed to hang on when at the end of our rope,

We wouldn’t have found the strength within

That undeniable force that keeps us from giving in.

So we long for the open road

And let others help carry your load

We navigate this thing we call life

And hold onto those that see us through strife

And when our paths may split apart

We hold tightly to those that matter in our heart

We learn that even if we go our separate ways

We learn lessons to carry us through our days

We find that there are impossible choices to make

And sometimes the wrong path we take

But life never fails to continues moving on

Hold tight and learn to be strong.

Rachael Collins

Judge Me Gently

 

If today my eyes seem more tired than normal

Or my feet drag along the ground as I stumble

Please, judge me gently.

If today my temper is more easily flared

Or my tears are quicker to flow, 

Please, judge me gently. 

There’s more to my story than I ever reveal.

And I find myself in the middle of a balancing act

Where one step brings this carefully crafted 

House of cards crashing to the ground.

So, please, judge me gently.

Sometimes the pressures that weigh me down

Are more than I can bear

When what I desire most is just one moment’s rest,

Or maybe one less cross to bear

But, alas, there are too many people counting on me

For that to ever truly be a part of my reality.

Please, judge me gently.

I’m not trying to complain or say I wouldn’t do things the same,

I don’t want out of this life or a change of scenery.

I’m right where I’m supposed to be,

So please, judge me gently.

I wouldn’t trade the early mornings, or the night time pill schedules

I wouldn’t walk away from my career, or my family that depends on me

I don’t want anyone different in my life or even for it to come easily,

Just know that I’m trying to be the best I can

So please, judge me gently.

Rachael Collins

It's Okay to Be Held

 

I’ve spent years pretending to be tougher than I am

Fortified walls surround me never letting anybody in

Until even I can’t recognize the mess I’m in

I’ve held my true self so deathly near

Afraid of getting close year after year

Ruled by emotions and too much by fear

What if I get too close and lose

It’s easier to drown myself in booze

Then to try and keep up the ruse.

I feel like an island standing alone

While others find their place called home

An empty contact list is all that fills my phone

Too many nights I scream and yell

Needing to hear “it’s okay to be held”

Instead I feel like an empty shell.

I simply want to belong amid this plunder

I need to hear your voice like thunder

Helping me put it all asunder.

Rachael Collins

It Couldn't Be Done

 

Humankind rests on the shoulders of “it couldn’t be done”

And yet, we’ve proved that thought wrong with every turn around the sun

Early on our ancestors learned to make fire and created the wheel

Improved their lives, learned to make weapons and forge steel.

Slaves wanted to be free, but they were property

They never had the opportunity

Until the Emancipation Proclamation and the Civil War, 

They were slaves no longer, but there was more conflict in store.

The fight wasn’t over, in fact it was far from done,

Men like Malcolm X and MLK fought for everyone

With peaceful protests, sit ins, and chants of “We shall overcome”

Segregation gave way to equality, all because “it couldn’t be done.”

Women were expected to stay at home to be a baby making machine

Serve their husbands, make sure to keep everything clean,

But, then they fought for a right to vote and their equality,

Women can be anything they want...even president...well, maybe not yet, but it will be.

It couldn’t be done, you see that ocean, it’s too big to cross

Don’t worry, I got this, I’m a boss.

It couldn’t be done, you see that mountain, it’s too high to climb

Why must we continue to doubt, we conquer every time.

We’ve landed a man on the moon, won the race

It couldn’t be done, we spent an entire year in space

We sent a rocket to Pluto and landed a rover on Mars

Someone said “it couldn’t be done,” so we reached for the stars.

We’ve created technology to easily connect point A and B

We can drive and ride and fly over the sea

We can research from anywhere about anything 

Because someone had the foresight to create that technology

So, the moral of my story, the point, the lesson to all of this

Remember that from now until the apocalypse

When someone tells you “it couldn’t be done” all along

Thousands of years of history prove that all wrong.

Rachael Collins

Intoxication

 

Even from far away you could see it.

The way they looked at each other,

The subtle glances, 

The curve of the smile on their cheeks,

The occasional touches

They way one would reach up 

And brush the hair out of the other’s face

They way they noticed no one around them

Holding one another in a spotlight

They neither knew nor cared what was going on

And for a moment I was envious

And longed for someone who melted the world away

The way they melted into each other

I envied their oblivion; their other worldliness

Their need for each other

All while I stood here alone watching

A lonely soul in a sea of people

With no human connections.

Rachael Collins

I'm More Than...

 

I’m more than all of this that you can see here

I’m definitely more than all the things I hold dear

I’m more than my name, although I carry it with pride

It’s one of the few things I carry with me since my dad died

I’m more than all this heft I have with me every day

I’m even more than all the thoughts and words I want to say

I’m more than the tears that often well up and roll down my cheek

I’m more than all the dreams and goals for which I seek

While all these are part of what makes me, me

I’m more than all of what you can see.

I’m goodness and kindness and laughter and love

And the gift that you refuse to open from above

I’m also sadness and anger and rage

Sometimes the animal pacing in her cage

I’m all my hopes and dreams and desires

I’m cold with fear and yet burn with fire

I’m all the stories I hold deep inside of me

I’m everyone that has ever been part of my journey

I’m light and beauty and sometimes insane

I’m all things great and small and mundane

I’m definitely more than some cute little hottie

Because not everyone can handle the curves of this body.

I’m beautiful and smart and funny and strong

I’m more than the weight of exhaustion when the day has been long.

I’m more than I could ever write down in this poem

I’m the desert, the mountains, the city, the place to call home.

Rachael Collins

I Want to Be

 

I want to be larger than life

Unafraid of heartache and strife

So that when I look back on all I did

I can say that from nothing I hid.

I want to be able to say I did it all

There were no obstacles too big or too small.

I came. I saw. I conquered.

Everything I went through only made me stronger.

I want to be able to say I was brave.

I held my head high for whatever came my way.

I didn’t stand back and cower or wine

I went out and put it all on the line.

I want to be able to laugh

And, honestly, to never have to do math.

Because the perfect world for me

Doesn’t have to be solved algebraically.

I want to stand tall like the mighty oak

And to have each life I’ve crossed filled with hope.

To be so steady that you can always find a place to lean

And branches wide enough to shield you when the world gets mean.

Rachael Collins

I Know

 

I know what it feels like to be lost in confusion

You are my beginning and my conclusion.

I know what it feels like to hang on by a thread

You are the one that gives me hope and removes all dread.

I know what it feels like to never say the right words

And yet, when I hold your hand we soar like birds.

I know what it feels like to be alone in my space

But I fall in love again and again when I see your face.

I know what it feels like to be both brave and scared

Because the chances we take leave me unprepared.

I know what it feels like to have no idea about me

But to have found myself in you I’m set free.

I know what it feels like to have lost everything

In the midst of a new awakening you are my spring.

Rachael Collins

I Do Not Love You

 

I do not love you as if you were my mate, my partner for life. Such frivolities could never encompass the depth and bounds of my love.

I love you as if the last fibers of my being exist solely to wrap themselves around you and together sustain life.

I love as if breathing were secondary to the pulsing of our veins 

because life is only granted 

because the two of us together are so much stronger than we ever apart

Because where two mountains stand, the sky is held aloft.

I love you for the fire and the ice and the tepid waters in between.

The way you make me feel a million things all at once

And yet so vulnerable under your gaze.

I love the gentleness of your voice and the strength in your touch and the way the colors dance in your wind. 

Because this world revolves around us -- a force to be reckoned with. Unstoppable.

I love you as if every heartbeat were my last because my dying days are just like our beginning days and every second in between I want to spend with you.

I love you as the sun rises and warms the earth and as the moon sees us back to sleep and with every pull of the tides because it all ebbs and flows back to you.

And with all my quirks and inefficiencies, you still manage to look at me as if I’m the only one and for this and so much more, I love you doesn’t begin to scratch the surface.

Rachael Collins

Hidden Depths

 

Hidden just below the surface was a world left unexplored

Full of goodness if only someone could unlock the door

Of all that she had so carefully hidden just out of sight

For too long she’d been afraid that her boat would capsize

And all that she’d been protecting would come spilling out

And she would have to face all of her doubts

So she chose to live her life in seclusion

And had long before come to the conclusion

That she was just not meant for this world

Because there was no way anyone could ever love this girl.

Rachael Collins

Heart and Soul

 

I spent last night with my composition book flipping through the pages,

Trying to find the right piece that I thought would engage us.

But, I quickly determined that none of them really spoke to my heart.

Nor gave the words to you that I wished to impart.

I don’t want to get ahead of myself, so let me start from the beginning:

There once was this awkward little girl that wanted nothing but to fit in

But try as she may she was never cool enough or strong enough or pretty enough

To say the least a lot of her younger years were really rough.

And, unlike the fairy tales of yore, this ugly little duckling never blossomed into a swan,

But rather she struggled as the years passed on.

She didn’t really have any friends that she could turn to,

So she looked to her teachers when she felt blue.

But none of them took the time to know who she was or to really listen and hear her pain

They’d laugh when she’d ask for help and send her away time and time again.

But, she wanted to be better than those that never spared her a second glance

So she went to school and became a teacher believing everyone has a chance.

So now that girl is the teacher that stands before you today

Hoping that you listen to the words she wants to say.

You make me not only want to be a better teacher 

But also a better person for each one here.

Four years ago, you walked into my classroom young and full of possibilities

And, I was so grateful for the many opportunities

That you gave me to talk and to laugh

About books and school and life, knowing all the while we were off task.

And, now here we are once again, a second chance to be better than before

Whether I’ve fulfilled that role, I’m not really sure.

Because I know I have my flaws, of course I do

I can name them, and I’m sure you could, too.

But above all you gave me all that I could ever want

A chance for that duckling to finally feel like a swan

So, what I’d really like for you to  know

Is that from day one captured my heart and soul.

My world was changed for the better the minute you walked through my door

Thank you, to each of you, for touching my heart like never before.

Rachael Collins