Fear

 

I’m afraid of the ghosts that only come out at night

Never in the daylight when everything is bright

Running through my mind

Leaving me no place to hide

Judging the choices I’ve made

Teaching me -- I’ll never make the grade.

I’m afraid that I’ll never get to take anything back

And that the sum of my worth will only be made of what I lack

Because in all my years, I’ve made a lot of choices

Had to work at drowning out a lot of inner voices

The path was not always clear

Wasn’t always sure which way I should steer

Crossed my fingers and hoped for the best

Really need it all to be good when I’m laid to rest.

I’m afraid to let my walls down

What happens if you don’t like what you’ve found

When I’ve bared it all for you

Can you still be true?

Because I’ve never been that brave

To trust someone till my grave

But this once I’m willing to let you see it all

Please, don’t make me crawl.

I’m afraid that the weight of my responsibility might smother me

Sometimes they weigh so heavy I can barely breathe

I feel like I have to claw my way to the surface

I’m a ringmaster in my own circus

A juggler with so many things in the air

If I missed one would anybody even care?

Rachael Collins